“I’ll be going.” when he said that, he actually meant it.
5yrs I go, I missed the bus and I met a guy…
“Oh gosh, I’ll be late for my bus.” I was running like it was a matter and death situation when infact, I was only running for the bus. It was already 4.38pm and my bus was to arrive 2minutes after, at 4.40pm. I knew I wouldn’t make it in time but I tried and run for my life, I mean bus.
“Huff! Huff!” when I arrived the bus stop I was already running out of breath and I had my hands on my knees for support.
“It just left.” I was a bit surprised when someone talked, I raised my head and saw a guy sitting on the bench of the shed, he was reading a book.
“Ah.” I was a bit disappointed, I went to the same bench and sat at the other end, “Did you miss the bus too?”
He raised his head and smiled at me, “Sort of.”
After that, he continued reading and I kept silent. I think the silence lasted for about 5minutes or so, the guy who was sitting next to me broke the ice.
“I guess we’ll need to wait for another half hour, right? It’s really boring to wait for the bus.”
The bus always comes every 30minutes.
“Ah, yeah… right. It’s really boring.” I kicked the floor and some scattered rocks on it, “What are you reading?”
“This?” he raised the book, “It’s Now or Never by HaveYouSeenThisGirL.” “Huh? What’s that about? And what a weird screen name for an author.” I felt that the atmosphere was a bit becoming friendly. The guy seemed nice and he IS really nice.
“The author’s actually weird but the story is really cool. It’s a love story but still a guy like me is enjoying reading such story. I can feel through it.” he brushed his hair with complexed expression. “Really? What is it about?” “It’s about a guy who fell inlove with a girl from afar and he never had the courage to confess it to her. The title is Now and Never because there is a part wherein the guy has to decide if he should confess it or not in that day because if he does not confess that day, there wouldn’t be any chance for his feelings to be heard anymore.” “Uhh… Why so?” suddenly I became curious with the story’s plot and I had the urge to actually borrow it from him because I’m actually a fan of lovestories.
“Who knows…” “Huh?” “I’ve not reached the ending yet so I don’t know… haha!” “Ahh… But you said before that you can feel through it, is it because you’re the same with the guy protagonist?”
He looked at me as if I hit the jackpot but then he looked away, “Yeah… I actually like a girl but she doesn’t know what I feel.”
“Oh, but why don’t you confess it?” “I don’t have the guts.” “Oh c’mon.” “Really,” he sounded troubled, “I’m afraid.” “Of what?” “That she might reject me… She doesn’t even know me & I don’t even know if she’s got a boyfriend…” “If you like someone you’ll have the courage to take the risks. If I were you, I’ll confess to her right away.” “D’you think she will like me too? Do I look awful or what? Am I ugly? Or am I too stereotypical? If you approve of me, I’ll confess my feelings to that girl right away.”
I don’t even know why we had such topic, we were merely strangers but I felt like I wanted to help him so I patted his shoulder, “What are you saying! You’re goodlooking and I’m pretty sure that that girl will accept you! Just have courage! If you don’t confess your feelings, she’ll never know and are you contented like that? You’ll live your life with what ifs if you don’t let her know.”
He looked convinced with my words that he nodded, “You’re right, I’ll confess right away.”
He searched something in his pocket and pulled out his phone and dialed a number. I waited in silence as he waited for the other line to respond, he kept on tapping his fingers on the bench. The only thing I was unsure of was he kept on looking at me all the time he was waiting for the other line to respond.
After some minutes, he placed back the phone inside his pocket.
“So?” I asked, a bit worried. “I don’t know, no one answered the phone.” “Are you sure you dialled her number?” “Yes, I’m pretty sure. I asked a friend of hers for her number.” “Maybe she’s busy right now, why don’t you try it later?” “I will.”
Another 5minutes of silenced followed after that.
“How about you, d’you like someone?” “Hmm… Nah…” I actually did not have someone to like before. “Why?” “I dunno, maybe I’ve not found a guy to like yet. Well, I’m not really in a hurry so I’m not troubled with it.” “Oh, but what is your ideal guy?” “Someone… uhh…” I tried thinking for a minute, “Umm… A guy who has black hair with blonde highlights… umm…”
“Isn’t that a bit foreign-ish?” “Haha! But I think it’s cute! I also like guys who have a piercing in the ear! Then, then! I also like a guy with blue eyes! It’s so hot! Oh, please add hot figure!”
“You’re ideal guy is non existent.” he had this weird expression after he commented and because of that I actually laughed hard.
“Don’t be so mean! I mean.. atleast the guy should be sincere and loving, I’m fine with it.”
“Ah, it’s hard.”
“What is?”
“Ah nothing,” he shook his head, “It’s arriving.”
“What is?” I saw him looked at his wristwatch.
“The bus.”
I stood up and looked if the bus was actually arriving but I saw the other bus which goes another way.
“Huh? Are you gonna take this bus and not the other one?”
“Nope. I’m taking this one.”
“Oh, I thought we’ll be riding the same bus.”
“We always do.” he said something that I did not hear because the sound of the arriving bus was too loud.
“Well,” he stood up, “I’ll be going.”
“Oh, and I thought we could still talk some more, I was actually enjoying. Anyway, you always wait in this shed right? I guess, we’ll be seeing each other tomorrow.”
“I don’t think so.” before I could ask him, he already entered the bus and waved goodbye to me. From the windows of the bus, I saw him crying… The bus left and I stood there for some minutes confused of what just happened.
“I don’t think so.” when he said that and I saw him crying, I did not have a single idea why.
But when I sat back on the bench, I saw the book he was reading.
“Oh, he forgot.” I took it and placed it on my bag, “Maybe I can return it to him tomorrow.”
After some minutes, my bus arrived. I went home, changed my clothes, had my dinner and did some stuff.
It was 8pm when I decided to check my phone.
“Oh, where is it?” I had already undone my bag, I’ve already scattered all the things in it on my bed but I still wasn’t able to find it. I went to my check my drawers and I found it inside my studytable’s drawer. That day, I forgot my phone in my house.
When I checked it, I had 5missed calls… All from the same anonymous number, the first call was 4:53 and I already had the feeling that it was the call from the guy from the shed…
I checked my messages after, I ignored all messages except a message from that anonymous number.
From: +63************ Message: I never had the courage, I love you. Thank you for today, goodbye.
Out of shock, I cried. I sat down in my bed and saw the book he was reading, I took it and opened it. But I was again surprised by the thing I saw in the book…
It was a handwritten book and I had my picture pasted on the first page with the caption, “And this is all about my feelings for her.”
I started reading it, I could not believe everything that was written there.
“I don’t even know if she had ever noticed me or if she knows that I go with the same bus with her. I never seat and wait in the waiting shed because I was afraid to get near her or she might hear my noisy heartbeat. I always make sure I seat at the back of her so I can smell her fragrance and hear her voice everytime she speaks with her friend or with her family on the phone. I felt a bit of a stalker myself but that was the only thing I can do, to just watch her. I don’t have the courage but I do really like her.”
The book wasn’t finished, out of 200pages, it only reached 157.
“I don’t even know how things will be… Today, I’ll be going to California and study there. My flight’s at 7pm. This is the last day and I’ve decided to wait at the shed for the first time, I do hope she’ll take the bus today. If she does, I might confess my feelings to her… But I don’t really know if I could confess, in the end I’m a big coward. Maybe if I fail to confess to her, atleast I’ll try to have a small chitchat with her… I want to have a memory with her even for a second. Argh, I’m really troubled. It’s now or never…”
After finishing the book, I looked at the clock… 8.57pm.
His flight was 7pm, he already left.
Even 5yrs had already passed, I still can’t forget that guy whom I don’t even know the name. Everytime I wait for the bus, the memory I first&last talked to him plays. It must be weird to say, but that day I actually fell inlove… love for me went in fast and the one I love went away fast.
I’m now working as a writer in a publishing company, he has been my inspiration with my love stories. I even made him as one of my characters and a lot of my readers actually liked his character. I have always hoped that one day I’ll see him again waiting for the bus in that same bench.
“Oh gosh! I’ll be late for my bus!” I am running for my life, nah kidding, I am running for the bus. I only have 2minutes until the bus arrives. Like always, I knew it’s impossible to catch up for the bus having only 2minutes but I always have my hopes in me so I’m trying my best to run.
“Huff! Huff!” as soon as I reached the bus stop, I have sweats falling and I’m running out of breath. I placed my hands on my knees and trying to inhale and exhale properly.
“It just left.” Hearing the same voice and remembering the same scene, I felt like I am having a dejavu. I lifted my head to see who it is but I felt disappointment as soon as I saw his hair and ear. I can’t see his face ‘coz it is covered with a book. But I’m 100% sure that it’s not him, as far as I remember he’s not as muscular as this guy in front of me and he doesn’t have blonde highlights and a double piercing on the right ear.
“Ah, okay.” I said disappointed and sat at the other end of the bench.
“I like your book.” I am surprised when he spoke but he still has the book covered in his face. Just then, I saw what he’s reading… it’s my story, “Now and Never”.
“Ah, really? Thanks. How did you know I’m the author?”
“‘Coz you’re famous. Your work was even made into a film.” right, it was actually filmed and was even adopted into korean & american film. That book was a great hit, I think it’s because I wrote it with my heart.
“But you’re not original.” I am taken aback when he said that.
“Excuse me?”
“I thought Now & Never was written by HaveYouSeenThis Girl?”
Before, I have understood why that guy had a screen name of HaveYouSeenThisGirL, it was because he was referring to me… he was always looking for me from afar… I have always been touched with the idea, I always read the book until now and it never fails to warm my heart.
“Copycat.” he takes off the book away from his face and I think I am imagining…
It’s not him, he doesn’t even have blue eyes… but it looks like him….
“You said your ideal guy is someone who has hot body and a blonde-highlighted hair with piercings on the ear and also with blue eyes. I did it all though I had to put contacts for the eyes, I’m not foreign.” he scratches the back of his neck as he smiles awkwardly, “I have the courage now.”
Malungkot na masaya si Blanche na kachat niya ang ex-boyfriend niya sa ym. Yes, ex-boyfriend niya. Matagal din na naging sila pero bigla bigla silang nagbreak, maraming dahilan ng break up nila. Pero ang pinagsimulan lang talaga nun ay yung maliliit na away at misunderstanding na napabayaan ng dahil sa pride ng bawat isa kaya ayun lumaki ng lumaki hanggang sa naging dahilan ng tuluyang paghihiwalay nila.
Ilang months na rin naman ang nakakaraan simula ng magbreak sila, dahil nasa iisang barkada lang sila ay napilitan silang maging kahit “magkaibigan” man lang. Ang panget kasing tignan na iniiwasan nila ang isa’t isa kung nasa iisang barkadahan lang sila. Di naman sila nahirapan gawin yun, bumalik sila sa pagiging magkaibigan at parehas nilang kinalimutan ang nakaraan.
Pero kunwari lang yun, para kay Blanche hindi pa rin niya malilimutan si Harry. Nagagawa man niyang ngumiti sa harap nito at makipagkulitan dito na parang isang kaibigan ay pagkatalikod niya sa kanyang ex ay bumaba ang mga nakangiti niyang labi at sumisikip ang dibdib niya sa sakit na nararamdaman. Namimiss niya ang ex niya kahit pa araw araw niya itong nakikita at nakakausap. Namimiss niya ang “nakaraan”, namimiss niya ang pagmamahal nito.
Akala ng lahat nakamove on na sila parehas pero si Harry lang yun, siya hindi pa. Hanggang ngayon mahal niya pa ang ex niya.
***YM CONVERSATION:
BlancheArches: Uy panget, nakagawa ka ng assignment?
thisguyHarry: Assignment? May assignment pala tayo? XD
BlancheArches: LOL. Baliw, oo kaya, naku. Di ka talaga maasahan! XD
thisguyHarry: Sorry naman dude! Pakopya na lang ako sayo pag nakagawa ka na! haha! XD
BlancheArches: Bleh! Ayoko nga! :P
thisguyHarry: Damooooot!
BlancheArches: XD
Puro “XD”, puro smiley kahit hindi naman siya nakangiti. Laking pasasalamat ni Blanche na may “computer screen” na humaharang sa kanila upang hindi makita ng ex niya ang tunay na nararamdaman niya sa mga oras na yun. Laking pasasalamat niya sa mga “smiley” na madaling nagtatago ng tunay niyang nararamdaman.
thisguyHarry: sige na nga offline na ako gagawa na muna ako assignment! damot mo eh! >_<
BlancheArches: Hahaha! dapat lang! Sige bye!
thisguyHarry: Kbye!
thisguyHarry is now offline…
Pagkatapos nun parang baliw na tinitigan ni Blanche ang screen… ang mga katagang “thisguyHarry is now offline” ay paulit ulit niyang binabasa…
“Kelan ba magiging ‘thisguyHarry is now offline in my heart’? Mag-offline ka na kasi sa puso ko, nahihirapan akong magmove on…” nasabi na lang niya sa sarili niya habang nakatitig pa rin sa screen.
BlancheArches: Mahal na mahal pa rin kita Harry. Namimiss kita, sobra. Sana tayo na lang ulit, sana… Mahal pa rin kasi kita talaga eh. :’(
Tinype niya yung mga iyon sa ym, lagi niyang ginagawa yun sa tuwing nago-offline si Harry kasi pag offline ito saka niya lang naipapakita at nasasabi ang tunay niyang nararamdaman sa lalaki. Alam pa rin naman niya ang password ng ym ng ex niya na hindi pa rin binabago nito kaya pagkatapos niyang itype ang lahat ng iyon, bubuksan niya na lang ulit agad ang ym ng ex-boyfriend upang idelete lahat ng “offline messages” para hindi nito makita. Ganun palagi ang gawain niya, alam niyang mukha siyang baliw sa pinaggagagawa niya pero talagang mahal niya pa ang ex niya.
BlancheArches: Mahal kita.
BlancheArches: Mahal pa rin talaga kita.
BlancheArches: Tayo na lang ulit…
Flood lang siya ng flood sa conversation box nila sa ym ng ex niya na noo’y offline na.
BlancheArches: Namimiss na kasi kita…
thisguyHarry: Ako din, miss na miss na kita.
thisguyHarry: Ako din, mahal pa din kita.
thisguyHarry: Tayo na lang ulit? Sorry, mahal pa talaga kita.
Hindi siya makapaniwala… akala niya offline ito pero bigla itong nakapagreply sa kanya at sa lahat ng tinype niya. Nahuli siya nito. Halos manlaki ang mga mata niya sa pagkabigla.
thisguyHarry: Hindi ako naka-offline, naka-invisible lang ako.
thisguyHarry: Blanche… kalimutan na natin yung mga misunderstanding natin… ako na yung nagsosorry sa mga naging away natin dati… please… balikan mo ako? Tayo na lang ulit.
thisguyHarry: Kahit ligawan pa kitang muli, ayos lang sakin basta bigyan mo ako ng second chance. Mahal pa din kasi kita.
Sadly, Gin died because he wanted to kill Aizen in which the reason is connected to Rangiku. I really cried in this part. But still, he was able to say sorry to Rangiku. He surely loves Rangiku so much that he even sacrificed himself to avenge Rangiku and give her back what was lost to her. Their lovestory for me is THE BEST EVER.
For me this is, TRUE LOVE ♥
“If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow, and began devouring humans, and from the same mouth you devoured humans, you cried out to me, “I love you!” Would I still be able to say, “I love you,” the same way I do today?” - Gin Ichimaru
